Charlyn’s Web

My little Sunshine is a hair magnet. Since she was very little she would find hairs, anyplace, anytime. Before she could talk she would hold up her hand and say “hai, hai!” She wouldn’t be happy until the offending item was found and taken from her. She would come running up with her thumb and index finger pinched tightly together yelling “hai!”. Sometimes it would somehow escape the death grip and couldn’t be found. If there was a hair to find, she finds it and demands that it be thrown away.

At lunch yesterday, the older two kept saying something about hair and TG but I was on the phone and thought it was just the Magnate at work. Then I went into Black Ear and saw the long strands of hair lying about and the scissors on the counter. Oh no! One of my greatest fears had come to pass.

I have been very diligent, almost to the point of paranoia about the kids and scissors. Their scissor skills are lacking because I hardly ever let the scissors into their chubby little hands. But I had let my guard down and left the hair cutting scissors out on the counter in the bathroom. The kids are not supposed to be back there without me, but that’s just one of those silly things Mom says to herself and so what if the door is closed? They’ve never heard of privacy.

To be honest, at least she cut the hair in a place that is hard to see. Her floppy hair and bangs cover up the area she snipped. But when one is already hair challenged, well- every little bit helps.

“Rachel is falling in love.” Kirsten stated.

Rachel is an older teen we know. Kirsten has been interested in this development.

Yes, she is.

“Who is it?”

Remember, we met him once when he came to get her. Real big guy.

“With a cowboy hat?”

Yes, I think so.

“I think it’s her brother.”

Oh, no! It wouldn’t be her brother.

“Why not?”

Just give it a few years and you will understand.

Hans has told Talia that he will marry her when he grows up. Give that a few years too.

On another love subject:

Talia has started to spontaneously say “I wuv you, Mama!”

Sweet words for a Mama to hear.

I know that it is boring to check a blog multiple times to find the same entries starting at you. I will try to update more often. Now that I actually have a blog, I find I have a bit of writers block. The reality of finding something interesting to write about on an almost daily basis can be overwhelming. The kids don’t do THAT many funny things. From the overwhelming number of comments being left, I can tell that everyone thinks what I write is fascinating. Come on now, don’t be shy! A little (positive) feed back is helpful.

My parents came for a visit this weekend. They normally come on Friday afternoon and stay until Sunday, leaving when we go to church. It’s about a 200 mile drive, all freeway (dull). After they got here Brett pointed out that Monday was a holiday (for him anyway) and that they could stay longer. I wasn’t sure that they would want to do that but they did! A quick call to the neighbor taking care of the animals and it was all set. The kids enjoyed having the Grandparents around for a bit longer, we had some good conversations and Mom got to play lots of card games on the computer. I guess everyone had a good time.

Although Dad did have to go to church… for the record, the building is still standing. It’s always a mystery as to how things will go with the service since we don’t have a pastor and get by with fill in speakers. This speaker was one I hadn’t heard before but did a fairly good job. I think he used quite a few “Christian” words that may not have meaning for others.

Talia is the best “pee-pee” dancer! The other two didn’t do that too much but Talia does it anytime, anywhere. She even can “dance” when she is sitting down! I do the dumb thing of asking her if she has to go, to which she usually answers “No!” I watch her for another two seconds and then escort her to the bathroom. As we have noted before, when you have a bladder the size of a walnut and have to go when it’s half full- it’s a pretty frequent event.

Kirsten shouts, as they run through the house: “We are the fighting shoulders!” Personally, I am glad that my shoulders are not fighting.

Hans’ adult front tooth is coming in behind the baby tooth. It is causing both front baby teeth to point out- like buck teeth. The baby teeth are shifting around some causing a gap on one side. We keep encouraging Hans to wiggle them so they will come out but so far no luck. Every time this happens, I think- this is the time we’ll have to go get them pulled but so far that hasn’t happened.

My good friend, Boo Boo, sent a link to the most interesting article. A must read for parents! We think we are doing a good thing to build up our kids’ self esteem by telling them they are smart…. think again! There have been actual studies done on this and the information is in the article.

The boys (Brett and Hans) had their ears lowered. It was really needed as their ears were getting pretty high on their heads and they looked pretty shabby.

It’s amazing how kids, with the same parents, can be so different.

Hans being the first born, didn’t have other kids around much to take away his toys. There were occasions when there would be other kids in the nursery at church, and kids being kids, eventually someone would take a toy away from Hans. I remember seeing the most surprised look on his face and he’d just stand there. Then he’d go find something else to play with, if an adult didn’t step in and make the other kid give it back.

Kirsten had an older sibling to take things away but it didn’t happen much because Hans was 2 ½ years older, and a boy, and not interested in what she was playing with. If other kids took things away from her she may have hit but most likely she would have whined- which is an ongoing condition with her.

Then along came Talia, just 18 ½ months after her older sister. If something is taken away from her she doesn’t look surprised, she doesn’t whine, no, my little Sunshine will track them down and beat the snot out of them.

This is a dilemma because she likes many of the things her sister is playing with, so instead of being the kid that something is being taken away FROM , she is the kid doing the taking. If she doesn’t get what she wants then she shrieks in that shrill voice of hers and if that doesn’t intimidate then she resorts to physical violence.

The other day, I was trying to read something on the computer when the most awful shrieking penetrated my consciousness. I looked over to see Kirsten curled up in a ball on the floor with Talia on top of her beating on her with a toy cleaning brush, both of them screaming. Talia had wanted something that there was one of, and Kirsten wasn’t about to let her have it. Then Talia, after being punished, wouldn’t listen to advice to find something similar to play with, and kept voicing and showing her displeasure. She spent time in her bed where she could think about the error of her ways. Yeah, right. At least I could close the door on the noise.

The girls weigh about the same, and since Talia is shorter she has a little more force behind her. And she is not afraid to use it. I’ve seen her take Hans down. He towers over her and out weights her by 20 pounds but I have seen her grab him by the legs and throw him to the ground. Bully and Brute are often used in the same sentence with the name Talia.

With each kid, we have attempted to find the discipline technique that works best for their personalities. I found an effective discipline to use for Hans was to take away one of his favorite toys of the moment, either a train or a plane. At times, I had quite a fleet of planes on top of the refrigerator. That hasn’t worked with Kirsten because she hasn’t attached to the toys, but two things that do seem to work is isolating her and taking away reading time. I seem to be able to work around her obstinacy by giving her choices. Sometimes the choice is “you do it or I will do it for you”; she doesn’t like that. Now, Talia will be another challenge to find her “trigger.” So far, she hasn’t attached much to toys, although she loves books. If she gets upset there is just no talking to her. I guess we’ll just have to keep exploring possibilities as we go along.

Ah, the journeys we take. And they say the journey is the best part. I doubt they meant the Journey to the Best Way to Discipline Your Child. There are so many different roads to take, so many different opinions and if the wrong path is chosen you could end up with a real bully and a brute.

Yesterday was a typical winter day here with thick clouds overhead and cold temperatures. On days when we are having the inversion (cold air trapped under a high pressure) the temperature will vary by only a few degrees- 25 is the low and 30 is the high. We had been in the house for days now, due to all of the illness so I thought that it would … wait for it… be “good” for us to go out to get the mail. The children had questions about how “good” it would be for them. Hans complained and was a slow as could be getting his stuff on. Talia complained too and wasn’tvery cooperative. Kirsten, on the other hand, quietly went about the business of getting her cold weather gear on. After the long fight, noise and hassle, I was glad to get them outside and on our way. Sigh. I have such delusions about how these things should go all the while the kids have their ideas about how things should NOT go. I was cheer-leading the troops- Come on, get moving quickly so your blood will pump and you’ll warm up! They move slower and come to a stop. Is it instinctual to just stand still in the cold? Huddling up, I guess. I decided they could just do their thing and I would walk quickly to the mailbox, a 1/4 mile away. Talia stopped in the driveway and after I was a fair distance from her; she started to wail. I yelled back at her that I would come get her on the way back. Of course, I should have realized it was a loosing battle to have her actually HEAR me, what with all that noise so close to her(coming from her own mouth). I heard an opening and shouted again and then she calmed down. She had started walking by then and Kirsten, who actually had been walking quite quickly waited for her at the end of the driveway. What a sweet sister. Hans was a few feet behind me and I made it to the mailbox. On the way back, Talia had started crying again. I often wonder what our neighbors think and am glad that they are not very many in number and work outside the home. I gave both girls hugs and told Kirsten what a good big sister she was to have waited for her sister and then walked with her. I walked everyone home and they were very grateful to get back into the house.

I may think twice on an overcast, 30 degree day about a “good for us” walk.