Charlyn’s Web

I told you of the Hacking of the Hair of Pixie.

I was worried that she would hold a grudge, be angry at me for awhile. But that wasn’t the case. In fact she seemed ok with it.

We went to church Sunday, it was Easter so she was dressed in a pink poofy dress and looked cute. I asked the Sunday School Teacher what she thought of the new hair cut. She said it was cute. She said she had asked Pixie what she thought of it and Pixie had said she didn’t like it at first but now she does.

Whew.

“Whine! ”

That is a common sound coming out of Pixie. If she is unhappy about something, if she is frustrated, angry- “Whine!” She can’t seem to be able to find the words to express herself at those times and resorts to whining. It’s never pleasant and getting less so the older she gets. It doesn’t help to tell her to stop, she just keeps it up. As if unable to stop on her own.

She wants long hair but it is a hassle because she doesn’t want it combed. It used to be she wanted it in pig tails or in a “flower” (she looks like Pebbles from the Flintstones) every day and was good about letting it be brushed out. But lately, she has been leaving it down more and is more unwilling to let it be brushed. It became an “issue”. I kept telling her that if she wanted long hair she needed to let it be brushed out but she would keep up that grating, incessant noise until I threatened to cut it off. One day I even got the scissors out and she promised to behave so I didn’t cut it.

But last night, she started in again. Brett asked her later if it hurt and she said “no”. She has a tendency to not like things and not to cooperate with things when it’s not her idea. So I got out the scissors and cut.

I do admit that I cut it too short. I wanted it just below her sholders and with the weight of about 4-5 inches off, it ended up shorter than that. And I wish that I had done a better job. One side is longer than the other and the back goes up a bit. I wonder if she’ll let me even it out.

But you know what? She looks cute. Her hair looks full and thick. It frames her face. It was getting pretty stringy looking. Part of it was that it wasn’t being washed often enough but I had noticed even after a cleaning that it would look stringy and not full.

I thought this morning she would be upset with me but she ran to me first thing, yelling “Mommy!” and held my hand at breakfast. She mentioned that I still had long hair this morning but I pointed out to her that I had already brushed it. That long hair needs to be taken care of and she wasn’t letting us do that.

She also said, while trying to hide a smile, that she was going to tell on me and then I would get a spanking. I asked her who she was going to tell and she informed me it was Papa. I’m scared, really scared.

She wasn’t happy with the “flower” we put in this morning and took it out. I think it looked different than before. She also thinks it should be grown out by Saturday. But overall she has had a pretty good attitude about it. I did apologize for cutting it too short but again told her why I had cut it.

I hope some of this sinks into that little, hard, opinionated head of hers.

But maybe not.

Talia is a little singer.

On our walk the other day she was strutting along singing: “Only boy, David!” over and over again.

If you remember any children’s Bible songs that one is “Only a Boy Named David”. She had the tune kind of right but was dropping a few of the words. And lines, and verses. Who needs all that stuff anyway?

Another one she was singing was – “Happy, happy, happy!” I wondered what she was trying to sing and then I caught “Happy New Year!” and I realised she was singing “Wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!” We were blessed (and I use that word loosely) with a singing Snowman at our last Harvest Festival and it has turned into a favorite of hers. Yeah. I am thrilled. Can’t you tell? But I DO love to hear Talia singing it. I like her version because it is “Happy” and makes me smile.

Another favorite that doesn’t come out quite right is the Happy Birthday song. But I like it, it says it all.

“Happy Day You! Happy Day You!”

And today is a Happy Day since it is dear friend Boo Boo’s birthday. Happy Day You!

My little Sunshine is a hair magnet. Since she was very little she would find hairs, anyplace, anytime. Before she could talk she would hold up her hand and say “hai, hai!” She wouldn’t be happy until the offending item was found and taken from her. She would come running up with her thumb and index finger pinched tightly together yelling “hai!”. Sometimes it would somehow escape the death grip and couldn’t be found. If there was a hair to find, she finds it and demands that it be thrown away.

At lunch yesterday, the older two kept saying something about hair and TG but I was on the phone and thought it was just the Magnate at work. Then I went into Black Ear and saw the long strands of hair lying about and the scissors on the counter. Oh no! One of my greatest fears had come to pass.

I have been very diligent, almost to the point of paranoia about the kids and scissors. Their scissor skills are lacking because I hardly ever let the scissors into their chubby little hands. But I had let my guard down and left the hair cutting scissors out on the counter in the bathroom. The kids are not supposed to be back there without me, but that’s just one of those silly things Mom says to herself and so what if the door is closed? They’ve never heard of privacy.

To be honest, at least she cut the hair in a place that is hard to see. Her floppy hair and bangs cover up the area she snipped. But when one is already hair challenged, well- every little bit helps.

Finally! Hans’ front tooth came out! It was hanging there by a thread when it was knocked out while playing this morning. He wasn’t sure if it was the Brute or KJ who did the final deed but it’s done! No more loose teeth for the moment.

Our thanks to Rachel and Devin for getting him to work on it so much on Friday night. The adult tooth looks to be about half way in and the baby tooth just didn’t seem to be getting any loser until then. Hans tends to be a weanie (did I say that?) and didn’t want us to pull it.

Only 18 more to go.

“Rachel is falling in love.” Kirsten stated.

Rachel is an older teen we know. Kirsten has been interested in this development.

Yes, she is.

“Who is it?”

Remember, we met him once when he came to get her. Real big guy.

“With a cowboy hat?”

Yes, I think so.

“I think it’s her brother.”

Oh, no! It wouldn’t be her brother.

“Why not?”

Just give it a few years and you will understand.

Hans has told Talia that he will marry her when he grows up. Give that a few years too.

On another love subject:

Talia has started to spontaneously say “I wuv you, Mama!”

Sweet words for a Mama to hear.

I know that it is boring to check a blog multiple times to find the same entries starting at you. I will try to update more often. Now that I actually have a blog, I find I have a bit of writers block. The reality of finding something interesting to write about on an almost daily basis can be overwhelming. The kids don’t do THAT many funny things. From the overwhelming number of comments being left, I can tell that everyone thinks what I write is fascinating. Come on now, don’t be shy! A little (positive) feed back is helpful.

My parents came for a visit this weekend. They normally come on Friday afternoon and stay until Sunday, leaving when we go to church. It’s about a 200 mile drive, all freeway (dull). After they got here Brett pointed out that Monday was a holiday (for him anyway) and that they could stay longer. I wasn’t sure that they would want to do that but they did! A quick call to the neighbor taking care of the animals and it was all set. The kids enjoyed having the Grandparents around for a bit longer, we had some good conversations and Mom got to play lots of card games on the computer. I guess everyone had a good time.

Although Dad did have to go to church… for the record, the building is still standing. It’s always a mystery as to how things will go with the service since we don’t have a pastor and get by with fill in speakers. This speaker was one I hadn’t heard before but did a fairly good job. I think he used quite a few “Christian” words that may not have meaning for others.

Talia is the best “pee-pee” dancer! The other two didn’t do that too much but Talia does it anytime, anywhere. She even can “dance” when she is sitting down! I do the dumb thing of asking her if she has to go, to which she usually answers “No!” I watch her for another two seconds and then escort her to the bathroom. As we have noted before, when you have a bladder the size of a walnut and have to go when it’s half full- it’s a pretty frequent event.

Kirsten shouts, as they run through the house: “We are the fighting shoulders!” Personally, I am glad that my shoulders are not fighting.

Hans’ adult front tooth is coming in behind the baby tooth. It is causing both front baby teeth to point out- like buck teeth. The baby teeth are shifting around some causing a gap on one side. We keep encouraging Hans to wiggle them so they will come out but so far no luck. Every time this happens, I think- this is the time we’ll have to go get them pulled but so far that hasn’t happened.

My good friend, Boo Boo, sent a link to the most interesting article. A must read for parents! We think we are doing a good thing to build up our kids’ self esteem by telling them they are smart…. think again! There have been actual studies done on this and the information is in the article.

The boys (Brett and Hans) had their ears lowered. It was really needed as their ears were getting pretty high on their heads and they looked pretty shabby.

It’s amazing how kids, with the same parents, can be so different.

Hans being the first born, didn’t have other kids around much to take away his toys. There were occasions when there would be other kids in the nursery at church, and kids being kids, eventually someone would take a toy away from Hans. I remember seeing the most surprised look on his face and he’d just stand there. Then he’d go find something else to play with, if an adult didn’t step in and make the other kid give it back.

Kirsten had an older sibling to take things away but it didn’t happen much because Hans was 2 ½ years older, and a boy, and not interested in what she was playing with. If other kids took things away from her she may have hit but most likely she would have whined- which is an ongoing condition with her.

Then along came Talia, just 18 ½ months after her older sister. If something is taken away from her she doesn’t look surprised, she doesn’t whine, no, my little Sunshine will track them down and beat the snot out of them.

This is a dilemma because she likes many of the things her sister is playing with, so instead of being the kid that something is being taken away FROM , she is the kid doing the taking. If she doesn’t get what she wants then she shrieks in that shrill voice of hers and if that doesn’t intimidate then she resorts to physical violence.

The other day, I was trying to read something on the computer when the most awful shrieking penetrated my consciousness. I looked over to see Kirsten curled up in a ball on the floor with Talia on top of her beating on her with a toy cleaning brush, both of them screaming. Talia had wanted something that there was one of, and Kirsten wasn’t about to let her have it. Then Talia, after being punished, wouldn’t listen to advice to find something similar to play with, and kept voicing and showing her displeasure. She spent time in her bed where she could think about the error of her ways. Yeah, right. At least I could close the door on the noise.

The girls weigh about the same, and since Talia is shorter she has a little more force behind her. And she is not afraid to use it. I’ve seen her take Hans down. He towers over her and out weights her by 20 pounds but I have seen her grab him by the legs and throw him to the ground. Bully and Brute are often used in the same sentence with the name Talia.

With each kid, we have attempted to find the discipline technique that works best for their personalities. I found an effective discipline to use for Hans was to take away one of his favorite toys of the moment, either a train or a plane. At times, I had quite a fleet of planes on top of the refrigerator. That hasn’t worked with Kirsten because she hasn’t attached to the toys, but two things that do seem to work is isolating her and taking away reading time. I seem to be able to work around her obstinacy by giving her choices. Sometimes the choice is “you do it or I will do it for you”; she doesn’t like that. Now, Talia will be another challenge to find her “trigger.” So far, she hasn’t attached much to toys, although she loves books. If she gets upset there is just no talking to her. I guess we’ll just have to keep exploring possibilities as we go along.

Ah, the journeys we take. And they say the journey is the best part. I doubt they meant the Journey to the Best Way to Discipline Your Child. There are so many different roads to take, so many different opinions and if the wrong path is chosen you could end up with a real bully and a brute.

When is a Pixie not a Pixie? When she is 5’10” tall.

Webster’s Encyclopedic Dictionary- Pixie or Pixy- n. a small, mischievous elf or fairy.

I gave Kirsten the nickname of Pixie when, for the first two years of her life, she hovered on the 50th percentile line on the growth chart. If that line was followed out to adulthood, she would have been 5’4″ tall. Hmmm. When we pointed this out to the Doctor, she looked at both of us and said “there is no way you two could have a 5’4″ child”. Not that I have anything against 5’4″, it just seemed odd. We harkened back to my Grandmothers to account for the “short” gene.

I had noticed of late, that Kirsten seemed to be shooting up and looked taller than other girls her age and I began to wonder….

I found a height predictor calculator on WebMd.com where you put in the mother’s and father’s height and also the child’s age, height and weight. Both the girls were coming up 5’9″ tall, which would be the median between Brett and me (slightly closer to me). But I had noticed with Hans that after the age of 4, it started to take into consideration how tall the child was at that point. Now that Pixie was 4, I entered the information in for her. It says she will now be 5’10” tall. I guess that is not “small” but the “mischievous ” part still fits. She may not be a “Pixie” to the rest of the world but she may be the Pixie of our children. I compared the girl’s hands yesterday and they are the same size. Her “little” sister may pass her up yet.

Yesterday was a typical winter day here with thick clouds overhead and cold temperatures. On days when we are having the inversion (cold air trapped under a high pressure) the temperature will vary by only a few degrees- 25 is the low and 30 is the high. We had been in the house for days now, due to all of the illness so I thought that it would … wait for it… be “good” for us to go out to get the mail. The children had questions about how “good” it would be for them. Hans complained and was a slow as could be getting his stuff on. Talia complained too and wasn’tvery cooperative. Kirsten, on the other hand, quietly went about the business of getting her cold weather gear on. After the long fight, noise and hassle, I was glad to get them outside and on our way. Sigh. I have such delusions about how these things should go all the while the kids have their ideas about how things should NOT go. I was cheer-leading the troops- Come on, get moving quickly so your blood will pump and you’ll warm up! They move slower and come to a stop. Is it instinctual to just stand still in the cold? Huddling up, I guess. I decided they could just do their thing and I would walk quickly to the mailbox, a 1/4 mile away. Talia stopped in the driveway and after I was a fair distance from her; she started to wail. I yelled back at her that I would come get her on the way back. Of course, I should have realized it was a loosing battle to have her actually HEAR me, what with all that noise so close to her(coming from her own mouth). I heard an opening and shouted again and then she calmed down. She had started walking by then and Kirsten, who actually had been walking quite quickly waited for her at the end of the driveway. What a sweet sister. Hans was a few feet behind me and I made it to the mailbox. On the way back, Talia had started crying again. I often wonder what our neighbors think and am glad that they are not very many in number and work outside the home. I gave both girls hugs and told Kirsten what a good big sister she was to have waited for her sister and then walked with her. I walked everyone home and they were very grateful to get back into the house.

I may think twice on an overcast, 30 degree day about a “good for us” walk.